Happy Thanksgiving!!

Wishing you all a very blessed Thanksgiving.

A Confident Heart ~ Chapter 8

When Doubt Whispers "I Don't Have Anything Special To Offer"

This weeks chapter was a lot less depressing. It was about discovering your abilities and finding your spiritual gifts. Something I needed to do. Since going on disability last year due to my RA and Fibro, I have felt like I have nothing to offer.I just stay home and try to be a good wife and housekeeper, failing most days thanks to my illnesses.

In chapter 8 there is a listing and description of seven motivational gifts. I see myself in two of them, teaching and mercy. There is also a free Spiritual Gift Assessment that Renee provided for us to take. You can find it here if you want to take it.

According to the Spiritual Gift Assessment, I have the gift of Mercy. It is a gift where I can minister and have compassion for people who are suffering. Maybe because of what I have to deal with in my own illnesses that I have more compassion and empathy for those who are hurting. I enjoy becoming knowledgeable of my illnesses so that I can pass on that knowledge to others to help them understand what I go through or what they might go through.

One of today's blog hop topics is if money or time were not an issue, what would I like to do. Other than taking a few trips, one to Alaska, what I really want to do is buy some land and live on my own real homestead. I want to be able to make my garden much bigger, I want to have chickens, goats, rabbits and pigs. I basically want to live on a small scale farm. I am happy to stay in the same state or area that I am in currently, mostly because I love it here. That is my dream and thankfully it is also one that my husband shares with me.

To me, homesteading is a way of life. You can homestead anywhere. I live in a mobile home park in a single wide mobile home. I do have a nice sized back and side yard, so I am able to have a decent sized garden to raise my veggies. I am just not able to have all the animals that I want. We can not have any more outbuildings other than our small shed. This is why I call my blog the wannabe homesteader. Some people think that I can not homestead where I currently live.

Advent Bible Readings

The plan is to read one or two readings from the Bible daily. I feel bad for Matt not having the Christian life that his father and I had growing up. Granted my hubby's was a bit different with him being Catholic and me being Protestant. We plan on teaching Matt what we have learned and continue on learning while I draw closer to God. What a better time to start than with the birth of Christ and the Christmas season. Now that he no longer believes in Santa, we can teach him about the true meaning of the season. So, here are our daily readings for this Advent season.

Week 1 ~ Hope

• Sun ~ Isaiah 40:1-5
• Mon ~ Isaiah 40:6-11, Isaiah 52:7-10
• Tue ~ Isaiah 11:1-10
• Wed ~ Isaiah 9:2-7, Genesis 3:8-15
• Thu ~ Genesis 15:1-6, Micah 5:2-5
• Fri ~ Deut. 18:15-19, John 1:1-9
• Sat ~ Psalm 89:1-4, John 1:10-18

Week 2 ~ Peace

• Sun ~ Zechariah 6:12-13, Luke 1:5-13
• Mon ~ Luke 1:14-20
• Tue ~ Luke 1:21-25
• Wed ~ Malachi 3:1-6, Luke 1:26-38
• Thu ~ Luke 1:39-45
• Fri ~ Luke 1:46-56
• Sat ~ Mark 1:1-3, Matthew 1:18-24

Week 3 ~ Joy

• Sun ~ Luke 1:57-66
• Mon ~ Luke 1:67-80
• Tue ~ Luke 2:1-7
• Wed ~ Luke 2:8-20
• Thu ~ Luke 2:21-35
• Fri ~ Luke 2:36-40
• Sat ~ Matthew 2:1-6

Week 4 ~ Love

• Sun ~ Matthew 2:7-12, Isaiah 7:10-14
• Mon ~ Matthew 2:19-23
• Tue ~ Isaiah 9:2-7, Ephesians 5:1-2
• Wed ~ Ephesians 5:15-20
• Thu ~ Colossians 1:15-20
• Fri ~ 1 John 4:7-12
• Sat ~ 1 John 4:13-19

Advent Activities

I know that Thanksgiving is not even here yet, but with Advent beginning in two weeks, I had to plan my daily activities now. Every day from Dec 1st until the 25th, I have something planned to do with the family. Here is a list of some of the things that we have picked out to do.

1. Decorate the tree
2. Put up the Creche and read the Christmas Story
3. Watch The Nativity Story movie
4. Make cookies for neighbors and family
5. Make ornaments for family
6. Make seed ornaments for the birds
7. Read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas
8. Read a devotion daily from the Advent devotion book
9. Read a daily Bible passage about the birth of Christ
10. Attend the Christmas Parade (Dec 7th)
11. Drive around and look at the lights while listening to Christmas music
12. Watch Christmas movies
13. Decorate the house with lights
14. Send out Christmas cards
15. Make a gingerbread house
16. Make a snowman (if there is snow)
17. Make popcorn and cranberry garland for the birds
18. Make paper snowflakes
19. Make homemade hot chocolate
20. Open one gift on Christmas Eve
21. Make cards for the military
22. Donate a new toy for Toys For Tots
23. Pack a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child
24. Donate good used toys and outgrown clothes to the local thrift store
25. See a live Nativity (new for us this year)

This is just what we have thought of right now. We may add or take activities away. Also a few of the activities will be repeated, like watching a Christmas movie. We have a nice collection of Christmas movies to watch that I keep adding to every year.

What activities do you like to do every Christmas season?

Operation Christmas Child

It's that time of year again to pack a shoe box full of needed and fun things for Operation Christmas Child. This is the second year that Matt and I have done this. In the past we use to fill stockings for the Red Cross.

We like to use plastic shoe boxes, that way the kids have something to keep to hold their things in or for other uses. This year ours are filled with coloring books, crayons, stuffed bears, jump ropes, bracelets (for the girls), necklaces (for the girls), puzzles, wash clothes, bars of soap, toothbrushes, and a note from us. Here is a bigger list of ideas of what to pack and what not to pack: Ideas for packing a shoe box.

I had a helper for the box packing this year too, other than Matt that is. Abby was testing out and making sure the boxes worked well.

What other service projects do you do this time of year?

A Confident Heart ~ Chapter 7 #IAmNot

Chapter 7 ~ When Doubt Whispers "I'm Such a Failure"


Have you ever called yourself a failure? I know I have, many times. Pretty much everyone that I know has at one time in their life.

As a teen mom, I always thought that I was a failure. It didn't help that I was in a relationship with someone who told me this daily either. I still call myself a failure in certain areas of my life, just not as often as I use to.

When I found out I was pregnant when I was just 16, I felt like I failed my parents. I didn't tell them right away either. I tried to hide my pregnancy from them. I was 4 months along when the father of my daughter had a conversation between him and his sister over heard by his aunt. His aunt, who hated me, called my dad and told him the news. Coming clean to him was very hard. He supported me and my decision to not abort. He found me a very nice doctor who sadly specialized in teen pregnancies.

As my daughter was growing up, I constantly felt like I was failing her. Like the time I found out her arm had been broken. She showed no signs and it was two weeks before I found out. The only reason I found out was because my daughter use to like putting her hand on the elevator doors of our apartment buildings elevator. Her arm got sucked in and swelled up like crazy. My dad and I took her to the ER when we found out that her arm was fine, but that it had been broken two weeks before. How could I have not known? I found out later how it broke. The lady who's daycare that she went to while I worked was a bit ruff with the kids. I showed up early one day to pick up my daughter when I saw this lady lift one of the kids up very fast and hard by just the hand. Needless to say, we found another daycare center to go to.

It took me a bit to stop feeling like a failure as a mother. It was not my fault my daughter broken her arm. I no longer feel like a failure for having her so young. Now I am able to talk to other teens about how hard it is as a single parent. Being a teen makes it even harder. I know that both my kids will wait till they are married to have their children because of hearing what I had to deal with and my daughter for actually living it. I know now that #IAmNot a failure as a parent.


Yesterday was my monthly visit for my infusion. It gave me the perfect opportunity to curl up with my book and read. My Fibromyalgia was bothering me really bad today, so the IV hurt a ton and I ached all over. While reading, the pain kinda went to the back of my mind and I was able to relax a little. Maybe I should read my Bible even more when I am in a lot of pain and my pills aren't working as well. Hmmmmm

Thanksgiving Banners

When I was digging out my Halloween decorations, I found some fall leaf garland. I put them up over my two big windows in my living room and decided to add a little something more to them to make them for Thanksgiving. I don't normally decorate for Thanksgiving, but I saw some printable banners on Pinterest that I just had to do.

You can get the printable for this banner here at Bits of Everything. I love this one the most out of the two banners I did. I need to put a fall ribbon bow right in the middle of the garland I think.

You can get this printable here at ClaireBella. You can't really tell, but these letters are a little too big for where I put them. I need to make them smaller somehow. I may cut out the shape and loose the background colors. Other than that, I like it. Very festive.

Weekly Goals

The goals from last week got done pretty early on, so I had more time to work on the quilt for baby Bella. I didn't have much 8th grade books left from Chantelle, but I have almost all for 9th grade. We are still talking about the school issues and homeschooling again. I really hope that the hubby decides to go ahead and let me.

I have my list of gifts to make and buy for the kids in the family. For the ones that are getting gift cards, I will make a little bag to put the cards in. My nieces on the hubby's side get gift cards. They have so many toys and other things that I have no clue what to get them. I tend to buy them one outfit and the gift card so they or their mom can pick out a nice gift. I know, boring, but it is what the moms ask for.

My magazines are neater. I didn't realize how much they took over my house. I am still finding them in little nooks and stuff. In fact, I am looking at a basket right now that has a few of Chantelle's magazines when she was staying here. Those will be tossed in a minute.

My Thanksgiving menu is all planned out and the dessert that I am taking to my sisters is picked out. I will be making a few more to keep here at home for us to eat for the week.

My Advent calendar and the list of activities and Bible readings are almost done. All I need to do is get the garland and when I put it up, I can add the little pockets for the calendar. I can't wait to see how it looks when I am done with it.

Now, on to this weeks goals.

1. Stock up on baking items like flour, chocolate chips, molasses. Also pick up a few turkeys. Now that we have another freezer, I am able to buy and keep a few extra turkeys when I can get them on sale. I also need to make my list of homemade yumminess to gift to the family and neighbors.

2. Continue to clean out shed and move the new chest freezer into it and plug in. We have no room in the house to keep it and I don't want it on the porch, so it is going to move in the shed. It will also be protected from the elements in there too.

3. Clean up the desk area. I have been asking and waiting for the hubby to do this, seeing how the mess is his, but it has been a month and nothing has been done. Soo, I will do it. That way I won't have to complain about the way he does it. This is also the first area you see when you walk into the house, so I have hated to see it so messy. Makes me feel like the rest of the house is a mess too, even though it is not.

4. Move the big bookcase in the living room over. I need to be able to fit the Christmas tree in the corner, so this big bookshelf needs to move over a bit. I also need to figure out a way to attach the tree to the wall, just in case the cats decide to climb it and knock it over.

5. Continue to work on homemade gifts for the family. I don't have much to make this year, unlike last year, so this should be done soon. I also have a few patterns cut out to make toys for the cats.


What goals do you have planned for the week?

Dinner Plans 11/11 ~ 11/17

Monday ~ Baked Pork Chops, Rice, Carrots


Tuesday ~ Corn Chowder, biscuits


Wednesday ~ Baked Ziti, Garlic Bread


Thursday ~ Cottage Pie


Friday ~ Homemade Pizza


Saturday ~ Chicken Pot Pie, Mashed Potatoes


Sunday ~ Italian Sausage Soup, Bread & Butter



Shared with Meal Plan Monday

Happy Birthday To Me

Tomorrow is my birthday and the hubby and son are taking me out to dinner, my choice. A nice break from cooking right before the rush of holiday cooking is soooo nice. I am hoping I can sleep in, but if my body has anything to say about it, I will still be up at 6am.

I promised the hubby I will make French Toast for breakfast (so much for my day off from cooking I guess. LOL). Then I will be curling up in front of the tv watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel all day long.

A Confident Heart Chapter 6

When God whispers "I'm not good enough"


Wow, what an eye opening chapter. It reminded me of a lot of my past failed relationships. While I had not forgotten about the way I was treated and felt in these relationships, I had them pushed and hidden away because they hurt so much. I truly think that God wanted to work on those past hurts through this chapter.

One boyfriend made me feel like I was never thin enough. He would tell me that I needed to wrap my waist up in plastic wrap to help suck in my belly and burn the "fat" faster. At this time in my life I weighted 125 lbs. That is 20 lbs under weight. I was in a size 6. Of course now I am 30 lbs over weight, but I am happy and the hubby doesn't care about my weight. He knows he has to loose weight too.

Another boyfriend cheated on me for one year of our two year relationship. This hurt a ton. He made me feel like I was not good enough to be with or love. I kept wondering what I did to cause him to cheat. This relationship took a long time to get over. I know now that the problem was not with me but with him.

The relationship that has the most hurt and emotion to it is one that will never leave me. No, it is not with my husband. It is with my daughters father. We will always have a connection to each other through her. He also cheated on me. Again this opened up wounds and wonder of what I did wrong to deserve to be treated like that. He always made me feel worthless, not worthy of being a good mother or proper wife.

I remember this one time how he criticized me and the way I made tuna sandwiches. All I did was make them the way I have always made them growing up. But because the sandwich was not made "his way", it was gross and my fault for him not having something to eat for lunch that day. He even mentioned something along the lines of how do I expect to be a good and proper wife if I couldn't even make a good tuna sandwich. I know that this sounds like a little petty thing, but it was the start of a long emotional abuse. Every now and then when I talk to him, he still does it, but I just let it roll off my shoulders. I don't care because I am with someone who loves me and the way I am.

The thing that finally opened up my eyes to the way he was treating me is when I had a miscarriage. He didn't care at all. He was rather happy that this child would not be. It hurt to loose my baby before I even got to know him or her, but what hurt more is the way he treated me. I kept a journal at this time and wrote down every emotion I felt at that time. I found it a few years ago when we were moving up here to NH. I read it and then threw it away. I do believe that God took my child home to him because I was in a bad way and couldn't deal with another child at the time. I know I will see this child one day. I left him shortly after this and never looked back.

To this day, I am always wondering if I am being a good and proper wife. In fact just the other night, while I was buttering up some bread to go with the homemade chicken noodle soup I made, I told my husband that I am trying to be a good wife for him. He told me that I am doing a wonderful job. Of course this made me happy, but deep down inside, I still wonder if I am good enough.

For example, when my RA and Fibro flare up, I have a hard time doing anything. I will skip my shower because it wears me out so much that I need to take a nap after. I will skip doing the dishes because I can hardly hold a dish. Sometimes I will have the hubby bring supper home. Because of my auto immune diseases, I feel lazy and am ashamed that I did nothing around the house while my hubby worked so hard for our family. I feel like a failure as a wife.

Thankfully my husband is living up to the "through sickness and health" part of our vows. He knows I have my bad days, so he does what he can to support me. All he said he wants from me is a hot meal when he gets home from work. He doesn't care that I didn't pick up the living room or did the dishes. He wants me to rest and allow the flare to die down.


This weeks blog topic that I chose was to talk about what area of my life I struggle with the most and write myself a letter to remind myself that I am good enough. As you can tell from this post, that struggle is with being a good and proper wife. Writing this letter was very hard and took sometime to do.


My Dearest Heather,

I am here to remind you that God is always here for you. He wants you to use your past issues to help you to heal and learn from. You are worthy of being a proper wife and mother, and a person in general. You left these relationships for good reasons. God helped you to leave and supported you through them. He gave you your life partner to love you and respect you the way you deserve. He found your soul mate that will be with you through thick and thin. Continue to listen to him and you will have the life you deserve and know that no matter what, you are perfect just the way you are.


This week I had a little friend cuddling with me while I read. Abby is getting so big and sure does have a personality. She is my baby and keeps me on my toes with all the things she does. She is always helping me heal and when my joints are hurting, she tries her best to "heal" me. I woke up the other day with her on my left shoulder, purring away. That shoulder had been flaring for a few days. Either she knew it was hurting or she wanted a warm place to warm up. That shoulder sure was hot to the touch.

Monthly Plans for November

Food

• Pumpkin Pies
• Pumpkin Bread
• Pumpkin Cookies
• Apple Pies
• Apple Crisp
• Turkey
• Cranberries
• Homemade Cranberry Sauce
• Fresh Venison

Garden

• Plant Blueberry bushes and mulch around them
• Garden is done for the season
• Clean up fall corn stalk decorations and put in compost
• Clean up window boxes to prepare for winter
• Mow lawn one last time and mulch up the leaves for the garden

Nature

• Birds have migrated
• Winter birds have arrived
• Cool Days
• Frosty nights
• First snow
• First freeze of the season
• Animals prepare for winter hibernation
• Hunting season going strong

Fun Holidays

• Child Safety Protection Month
• National Adoption Awareness Month
• Native American Heritage Month
• Peanut Butter Lovers Month (to bad I'm allergic)
• Book Lovers Day (first Saturday of the month)
• Housewives Day (3)
• Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day (7)
• Cook Something Bold Day (8)
• My (Heather) birthday (10)
• Veterans Day (11)
• Sadie Hawkins Day (13)
• World Kindness Day (13)
• Clean Your Refrigerator Day (15)
• Take a Hike Day (17)
• World Peace Day (17)
• Universal Children's Day (20)
• Eat a Cranberry Day (23)
• Thanksgiving (28)
• Black Friday (29)
• Stay At Home Because You Are Well Day

Family Fun

• Get together with family for Thanksgiving
• Put antlers and red nose on my car
• Start making homemade gifts for the family
• Rake all the leaves into a big pile and jump in it
• Make Homemade Cranberry Sauce
• Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
• Make cards for Soldiers 

Dinner Plans 11/4 ~ 11/10

I just realized that I never put up my menu for last week. Oops.Well here is this weeks menu.


Monday ~ Chicken Noodle Soup


Tuesday ~ Tuna Noodle Casserole


Wednesday ~ Baked Tortellini Casserole


Thursday ~ Meatball Subs


Friday ~ Homemade Pizza


Saturday ~ Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans


Sunday ~ My Birthday! Going out to eat!



Linked up to Meal Plan Monday.

Weekly Goals

I can't believe that November is here all ready. Where on earth did October go? I swear the days go by faster now that I am no longer working. I did get most of my goals done last week, along with a few that were on the honey do list for the hubby.

I sewed one side of the binding on the blanket and they pinned the other to hand sew shut. This will take me a couple of days or so to do.

All spring bulbs are planted. I even managed to divide them up to be planted into three different areas of the garden. I also got my blueberry bushes last week, so those were planted too.

The venison came to us all wrapped up in nice small meal sized packets. Only issue I had was that I needed to unwrap them to put them in the foodsaver bags to suck the air out of them. The meat was wrapped up in plastic wrap and it was a pain to get off. I made my first meal with the venison last night. It was yummy and the boys gobbled it up big time.

Most of the garden things are in storage. We are looking to get a little shed cabinet thing to put all the shovels, rakes, etc in to keep them here at home. We also need to go through the millions of tomato cages and toss the broken ones.

Ya, so I never managed to work on my bookshelves. One of these days this month I will though.

Now on to this weeks goals:

1. Go through the rest of the homeschool books to see what I have for 8th grade and up. The hubby and I were talking about taking Matt out of school and homeschool him again. I am not liking the changes that the schools are doing up here. Google Core Curriculum to see what I am talking about. Basically it is going to dumb down all the kids and teach all the kids the same way instead of implementing things and alternative work and tests to the kids who need them. Matt has an IEP and has been in need of help with his reading and comprehension of what he reads. The Core Curriculum will eliminate the special education help. I see so many kids falling behind, failing and never making it in the "real world".  Plus hubby said it will be easier to have Matt home because then we can plan our vacations for anytime and not just during the school vacations and I don't have to plan my days around when I have to pick him up from the Homework Club after school.

2. Make up a list of the homemade Christmas gifts to make and make up a shopping list for the things I may need to buy for them. I try to give my kids mostly homemade gifts for Christmas. It is hard now that Matt is older and only really wants video games. He still loves building forts, so my mom is making him a fort building kit for him. Chantelle got mostly bought things this year, but I got them for discounts so that is always good. For the things that I do buy, I pay with cash. We have no credit cards and when we did have them, they only got used to pay for bills. Gifts are always bought with cash so that we never have holiday debt.

3. Now that Halloween is over, I go into holiday mode. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. I need to plan my meals for Thanksgiving. I am just having dad down this year, but we are all meeting at my sisters for desert, so I need to figure out something to bring. I always make more food than we need to eat. Leftovers are good. Turkeys are starting to go on sale now, and with the additional chest freezer, I am able to grab a few more turkeys and put them in the freezer to eat year long. I will do the same with hams around Easter time.

4. Work on the Advent calendar. Every year we do a little countdown to Christmas. Something different every year. This year I am also adding daily devotions and Bible readings for the whole family. I have a nice list of the Bible readings and bought a Kindle version of a daily devotion. it is for kids, but seeing how Matt had pretty much no religion growing up, it will be good for him.

5. Organize my magazines. I have a ton of subscriptions to magazines. Most I did not pay for, thanks to the Coke Rewards thing that I do. The hubby drinks way to much soda, but I use the codes on the Coca cola products to get points. I save these points to get items or magazine subscriptions. I got Matt a nice 5 in 1 wireless headset for Christmas. A few years ago I got season one of Glee on dvd. The magazines I do pay for are mostly homesteading types. These I want to keep, so I need to toss those that don't apply after I read them and organize the ones I will be keeping in nice binders.


What do you have for weekly goals this week?

New Additions To The Garden

Now that fall is here, the garden has been pretty much put to bed. I did plant two new things for the garden, but they won't start to produce until spring time.

The first new item is three blueberry bushes that we purchased back during the summer and they got delivered a week ago. We put them in the ground thee day after they arrived, but didn't get pictures until today.

They don't look like much right now, but with hope, they will give us blueberries starting next summer. I picked out three different varieties that need each other to produce a better harvest. One blooms in June, another in July, and the last in August. This way we will have some berries all summer long. These are second year bushes, so we don't have to wait a year or so for any blueberries.

I bought them at Stark Bro. The varieties that I picked out are: Earliblue, Bluecrop, and Jersey Blueberry. I can't wait to taste them. I am hoping that some blueberries grow next year, but if not then the year after will produce for sure. Because I ordered them very early, I got a 15% discount. I love discounts andso does my bank account.

I also added garlic to the garden. This is another new thing for me to try out. I planted 5 or 6 rows that are about 5 feet long. If these grow good, I will have more garlic that I will know what to do with. Good thing my sister and her family love garlic. I plan on sharing them with her.

They had started to grow. I planted them a month ago when we started to get 30's at night. Now of course it has been in the 60's during the day and low 40's at night this past week. I put more straw over them to protect them from our cold snowy winters. I may need to put more on, but for now, I have enough to cover all the garlic, so you can't tell it has started to grow.

The blueberries also have a nice layer or straw around them to protect them this winter.

I cleaned up most of the garden. I just have to dig out the stalks from the sunflowers. Matt mowed the lawn one last time the other day and mulched and bagged up the leaves. He then added them to the garden and I mixed them in with the new compost.

Speaking of new compost, we have expanded the garden. This past summer, the garden looked like this:

There was spaces in between all the beds that were wide enough for the lawn mower to get through. Once we put the fencing up, Matt stopped mowing inside. Last month we had 5 yards of compost delivered and dumped into what was the corn bed. We need more compost, but will get it in the spring. From there, Matt and a friend of his worked for a few days moving the dirt all over and filling in all the empty spaces. Now the garden looks like this:

Now it is one big bed. I can plant more next year. I don't mind walking in the dirt, I love dirt. I hate wearing gloves or shoes in the garden. I want to feel the dirt. Of course walking around with no shoes on with bees around is not a good thing. I learned the hard way and now have to carry an epi pen around with me. I still love bees, my body just doesn't. 

The bed that had our tomatoes in it this year and last year, we got rid of. We need to get a new oil tank and lay it on its side. Seeing how that bed is right in front of our tank, it had to go. No worries, I planned to move the tomatoes somewhere else next year. I just need to relocate my garlic chives.

Seeing my garden like this, makes me excited about the spring and starting my garden all over again. I just love to see what God can do with some seeds, water, and sun.