A Confident Heart ~ Chapter 3

This chapter took me a bit to get through. Not because it was boring or full of information, it just made me think and reflect on my past, a lot. I thought about all the times I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I used one thing and one thing only to get what I thought I wanted. Sex. I ended up pregnant at 16 and then again at 20. I lost my second pregnancy and over time, I see it as a sign from God to stop. I did for a little bit, but then went right back using my body to get "love" from my boyfriends. Thankfully I calmed down and then I met my husband. We have been together for 14 years now.

This weeks blog hop topic:

A Heart Surrendered To Christ

I shared on my blog why I came back to Christ, but never when. You can read about why here ~ My Journey.

I think shortly after my grandmother passed is when I felt the pull to come back to Christ. My grandmother is what I would call a Godly woman. I never saw her go to church or read her bible, but the way she lived her life showed it. It is the way I always wanted to be. I remember back growing up kneeling at the side of my bed every night doing my bedtime prayers with her. I remember if my grandfather took the Lords name in vain, my Meme (what I called her) would get very upset with him, but never yell at him, just spoke a bit louder.

My Meme only passed away a few months ago. I have had a hard time dealing with it. I was very close to her. I use to spend every weekend with her when I was growing up. When they moved down to Florida, I would spend every summer with her and my grandfather (Bumpa as I call him). I could talk to her about things that I could never talk to my parents about. I remember back when I got pregnant with my eldest. She was very supportive, but would always tell me to keep my legs closed. I thought it was funny, but I knew why she said it.

The day Meme passed was a hard day for me. We knew her time was coming, but it still hurt and still does hurt. It was then that I knew I needed Christ to help me get through her death. I started to pray more and think about where my life was at. I was not happy in the way my faith had been going. It wasn't until a week before her birthday that I finally really thought hard about my life and the way things were going.

The day before her birthday is when I gave my heart back to Christ. I have been a happier person since. I don't cry so much when I think about Meme, unless I hear a certain song my Carrie Underwood. That song is what I used in my memorial post to Meme. You can read it here ~ In Memory of Meme.

This week we had a little activity that we could do if we wanted. It is a "No Fail Pail". It is a container or pail filled with scripture that is meaningful to me as well as the scripture from Chapter 12. I do a ton of canning every year, so I always have canning jars around. I took a wide mouth quart sized jar, cut out a circle of some fabric that I used to cover some baskets in my bathroom and then filled my jar with scripture written on paper to match the fabric. When I need a little encouragement, I open my jar and start reading some of the scripture.